Who: Reporter to the Agape Press (the Christian News Media)

What: Accuses cartoon character "Sponge Bob" of being gay and incessantly harasses the National PTA for promoting homosexuality in schools.

Detail: This lunatic has been after the PTA and slamming schools for promoting gayness for many years. He must be secretly gay and is trying to oppress his feelings through his over-zealous, paranoid campaign to keep homosexuality away from school children. Newsflash: God does not have a caucasian penis. If this were true, the world would be a lot different. We probably would not even be here now because he would have already destroyed it in pursuit of a good lay. Vitagliano should spend his energy doing something more productive.